


How I Fall

by sweet_faerie



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, reposted because it sucked at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-24 14:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6156988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_faerie/pseuds/sweet_faerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how Dex finds love, even when he doesn't think he deserves it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dex stared up at the ceiling. Judging from how long he had been trying to fall asleep, it was about 3 in the morning. His eyes burned but still bore holes into the dingy wall shrouded in shadows. This was the longest day of his life. And after every stupid thing that had happened, he couldn't even sleep.

Dex was trying very hard not to remember how fucked up he was. How he was absolutely screwed for the rest of his life and goddamnit it was all Nursey's fault.  
It was Nursey's fault for grinning at him in a way that he had never looked at him before, a way that made Dex's heart stop and a way that made Dex want to punch his teeth in. That kid was trouble from day one; he knew even then, but in that moment Nursey had given him a smile that he had never seen in the 7 months they'd known each other. Dex had noticed this, and he’d sent a fervent prayer that he got to witness that lopsided grin every day for the rest of time because it was beautiful, truly dazzling, and-

No! He stopped his swirling mind in its tracks, pressing down any fond thoughts of Derek Nurse that had been circling in his head. Instead, he forced his eyes closed, and focused on a steady rhythm of breathing.

After some time of relative relaxation, the sound of a buzzing phone was deafening in the still quiet of the room. Nervous he would wake his roommate, Dex hurried to flip over and silence it, expecting the call to be from a number he didn't recognize. But of course, the call coming in was from Chowder. 

"Why the hell are you trying to call me at 3 am??" Dex whisper-yelled into the phone a few moments later. He had ignored the call, slipped out of his bed and into the hallway, and promptly called his friend back.

"D-Dex?"

Chowder's voice sounded thick over the phone, like he had been crying, and Dex knew his harsh tone wasn't going to help but he was so boiling with anger at his trainwreck of a day, he couldn't help it.

"What Chowder?" He tried to keep his voice even and low.

"I was worried you weren't going to call back, oh man I thought I might have upset you, actually you sound upset but Dex I..."

Chowder left a silence hanging over the phone line, which he never did.

"Did something happen?" Dex prompted, and he could feel himself softening as he said it, he could feel his protective instinct kicking in while he ran through possible crises Chow may be having.

"I just...can't sleep? No, Dex, I don't know, something happened I guess but I can't tell you now, I don't know how to say it."

And that left Dex almost speechless, because Chowder knew how to say everything, all the kid did was talk.

Dex took a second to think, and then said quietly, "I'll be at your dorm room in 10 minutes."

-

Dex sighed and raked a hand over his face, rubbing at his cheeks to perk himself up so he could deal with whatever Chowder was so worked up about. He softly knocked on the door, more of a tap really, and a long moment passed before Chowder opened the door, his face peering intently at his feet, his whole pj-clad body emitting discomfort.

Puzzled by his friend's behavior, Dex entered the room, noticing the empty bed still neatly made which made him assume Chowder's roommate was out of the dorm for the night.

Chowder shut the door behind them and sat on his rumpled bed, and said nothing. Dex could feel the scowl settling on his face. He took a seat next to Chowder, only to watch the other boy scoot slowly away from him, only a couple of inches, but enough to make Dex feel cold on the inside. The scowl set deeper into the lines of his face.

A long silence ensued, Dex watching with guarded eyes and Chowder pretending not to see. The energy in the room felt thick and syrupy, but not sweet. The standoff left a sour taste in Dex's mouth. "What?!" He barked, startling Chowder and making him look up into burning eyes. In a heartbeat, Dex knew this was the wrong way to approach it.

Chowder was babbling, incoherent and owl-eyed, and Dex took a deep breath to contain himself before clamping a hand on Chowder's shoulder.

The boy almost jumped, Dex could tell Chowder had to restrain himself, and Dex felt like a nail had been pushed directly into his heart. He let his grip soften on Chowder, and let his face relax as he fixed his amber gaze on his friend.

"I'm sorry." Chowder said quietly, his dark eyes staring back at Dex.

"For what?" That was not what Dex had expected.

Chowder looked so sincere, so sad, and Dex had no idea why. He should be the one apologizing, for acting so rudely when he knew his best friend was hurting.

A long time passed before Chowder spoke again. Dex's grip on his shoulder had turned into more of a comforting hold on the boy, his thumb unconsciously rubbing circles into the soft skin at the base of his neck. A sharp breath broke the silence as Chowder said, with wide, pleading eyes, "I'm sorry for-for feeling!"

Dex's hand slipped then, as he jerked back with a sudden - impossible - thought. His hand slid down to Chowder's forearm, tightening around it.

"Why?" He said guardedly, "What is it that you feel?" 'What is it you feel you have to hide?' He wanted to say, but couldn't.

Dex began to wonder who he was helping to keep grounded by holding on so tightly to his friend.

"I don't know what to do..." Chowder whispered, and Dex's eyes flashed up to meet his. “I don’t know what to do about you…”

'I have to say it' Dex realized, even as he fought against everything he has ever known in order to keep his mouth shut.

But no, he didn't have to say it, he didn't have to say anything, he rationalized, as he leaned forward just an inch at a time, his grip on Chowder's forearm bruisingly tight.

All he could see were dark eyes, wider than he had ever seen them, filled with things he couldn't name but suddenly he wanted to try because even if they never said it, Dex would feel everything in the world for this boy.

His hands moved then, both reaching for something and landing on Chowder's shoulders, and sliding to wrap around his neck, and the only word to describe how Dex touched Chowder in that instant was soft, and Dex is never soft.

All he could hear was his heartbeat, loud in his ears, and his thoughts screaming at him to stop because this was not what he wanted, no, no, this was everything he had wanted for months and he was praying, feverish and spastic, praying he didn't mess this up and that Chowder had meant what he thought he had meant. But if the way Chowder was grabbing for Dex, balling a fist into the hem of his shirt, and pulling him closer until they were breathing each other's air was any indication of his real feelings, Dex was pretty sure he meant it too.

And then everything slowed down as their foreheads came to rest together, Dex’s world narrowing to the small space crowded with dark lashes, the soft breath hitting his cheekbones, warming him until he felt a blush spread all across his face, the most perfect spot in the universe. 

Time stopped as Dex brought his lips down onto Chowder's own.

He wanted to spend eternity in that moment, every voice in his head silenced, because there was no way something this beautiful was wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

“What the fuck are you playing right now, Nursey?” Dex asked, a little exasperated. 

He wasn’t sure if the song Nurse had chosen even qualified as music. 

“We’re supposed to be going through our favorite songs, not trying to induce nightmares!” Chowder giggled, eyes wide. 

Nursey just scoffed and continued work on his paper, ignoring Dex when he rolled his eyes and looked pointedly at Chowder, communicating silently his distaste for dubstep. 

Eventually, the boys fell back into their easy rhythm of studying together. Not talking, or even interacting really, save for Dex’s possessive hand resting on Chowder’s knee as he read through his textbook (which was the norm these days). 

Nursey broke the silence first as he closed his laptop and sighed loudly, rubbing at his eyes. “At least I didn’t play some weird screamo shit..” he mumbled, and Dex looked up, puzzled by his words for a moment.

“Don’t fucking insult The Wonder Years just because you don’t understand it!” He snapped back, a scowl taking shape on his face.

“Dude, those songs were boring and you know it. It’s so cliche, white-people-who-think-they-have-it-rough music.” Nursey said with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Oh, so we’re going back to this again! You don’t know shit about my life, don’t forget that!”

“No, man, I know waaay more about you than I’d like to, you give me the same speech every time we fight, just chill out and save the effort this time, okay?” 

Dex drew a breath, preparing to retaliate, when Chowder squeezed his hand, the one now gripping his leg with white knuckle strength. “C’mon..” he said quietly. 

Dex paused for a moment before he spoke again to Nursey. 

“Whatever, then. You’re...right, it’s not worth it.” He stared down at the floor. “Thanks for the help on my reading questions.” He grumbled.

Instead of answering, Nursey just flashed them both a smile and a peace sign as he left.

Chowder let out a sigh, relaxing against Dex’s side as he pushed away his notebook and textbooks. “I hate when you guys fight. It’s so obnoxious.” 

Dex snorted. “I can’t help it, he just gets on my nerves.” He said defensively.

“I know.” Chowder said, a faint smile on his face.

Time passed as Dex continued to work, Chowder now dozing off, resting against his shoulder, sunlight filtering through the blinds in his dorm room. His back ached from hunching over his work for so long, but the bed was more comfortable, arguably, than the desk where they always let Nursey sit. 

“Do you ever...miss him? When he leaves?”

Chowder’s voice startled Dex after the long span of silence. 

“What? Who? Nursey?” Dex asked, brain only half there as he focused on his assignment.

“Yeah. Sometimes, when he goes away and it’s just us, I feel like something is missing.” 

Chowder’s voice was still thick and heavy with sleep, but Dex couldn’t help but think about his ridiculous words. Did he miss Nursey? His first instinct said, Hell, no! He’s a pain in the ass! But Dex did feel a sort of truth ringing in his boyfriend’s words. Their trio never spent long apart, but the nights when Chowder and him lay under the covers together seemed a little out of place, compared to the nights of watching a Sharks game on tv with Nurse there as well. Dex had already summed it up to be an expression of his still-looming discomfort with this type of relationship. It had been weeks since he and Chowder had made it official, but those nagging feelings couldn’t be hushed completely yet. This admission by Chowder now made his discomfort seem unrelated to his ingrained heteronormativity, and that brought a new wave of questions to his mind. 

For the moment, all he could manage to string together in response was, “Yeah...sometimes.”

Chowder hummed, and wrapped his arms around Dex’s waist, pulling them both to lay down on the thin mattress. Dex tried to continue his line of thought, but, now that he was awake, Chowder wouldn’t shut up. As always. 

Dex let him talk his ear off until they both slid back into sleep, study supplies littering the floor and bedspread around them, discarded for the night. His questions about his friend would have to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is short but i had a very specific spot i needed to cut it at. the next part should be up within the next 2 days!! thanks so much to everyone who's read this far, i really appreciate it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support and for actually reading this!! I hope ya'll like this chapter, it was a lot of fun to write! 
> 
> If you're into that sort of thing, you can follow me on tumblr! My main blog is @sweet-faerie16 my Roosterteeth blog is @haywood-u-fuck-me and my Check, Please! blog is @nurseydexchow

Nursey patrol was always entertaining, at least. Which is why Dex and Chowder never complained when saddled with the job, only shrugging and maybe laughing, planning new ways to keep tabs on him but also get schwasted at the party. This weekend’s party was in celebration of the end of term, and ridiculous shenanigans were promised. 

-

The room buzzed, filled to the brim with people and color, and everything looked like it was floating. It was kind of unsettling, really, the swirls of light and sound, the bass vibrating deep in Dex’s chest as music flooded through the whole house. His eyes were cloudy, unfocused and hazy as his drinks caught up to him, like, fast. 

“Dex…” Chowder slurred into his ear, breath tickling his neck, and distracting him momentarily as he began to imagine what he’d like to do to the boy if no one else was around.

If he could stand up that long, that is.

Dex hummed back in response as Chowder put a hand on the back of his shoulder, making his skin warm. 

“Where’s Nurse?” Chowder asked, eyes widening a bit as he remembered their duties. 

“Shit..” Dex mumbled, fumbling to take his phone out and text Derek. 

He knew it was a long shot, but it was still kind of early, so maybe Nursey would be coherent enough to reply…

Dex grabbed his boyfriend’s hand and began to worm around the crowds of people, wandering through the house to track down their drunken friend. He couldn’t have gotten far, Dex noted, as they had seen him only moments before. And then he and Chowder had gotten roped into doing keg stands and...well, things always go downhill after keg stands. 

A moment passed then, where everything slowed down, and Dex’s eyes couldn’t catch on any one thing long enough. He blinked a few times, shuffling around the Haus absentmindedly, pulling Chow along. Dex stumbled, unsteady on drunk feet, and looked back at Chowder as he caught himself. The dark eyes looking back at him were wide and shining, light bouncing off them and making Dex dizzy as he got lost in the glow...or maybe that was just his fifth shot of whiskey talking. He steadied himself and pushed forward, rubbing at his eyes. 

“There!” Chowder shouted a moment later, loud and shrill over the music. 

Dex let out a sigh of relief as they spotted Nursey in the corner, chatting up someone from the poetry club. Or at least, Dex thought he was trying to talk to them. Nursey was slumped against a wall, his head turned towards the person, body language saying he was listening, but his eyes glazed over and bloodshot, a sure sign he was very drunk. His acquaintance laughed, looking a bit uncomfortable, and ran a hand through their bright pink hair. 

Dex approached the two, grabbing Derek by the shoulders and steering him away while rushing an apology to the person. 

“Poindexter, what the helll mannn, you always spit on my game!” Nursey protested, dragging his feet as Dex marched him through the main rooms and into the kitchen, Chowder carving a path through the guests for them. 

“Nah, Nurse, they weren’t into you, I’m saving you the embarrassment, okay?” Dex hiccupped out a laugh, feeling drunker by the second, but trying to get to the kitchen table before they all collapsed. 

The trio hung their heads and sat quietly for a moment at the table, sipping from the water cups someone, probably Bitty, had thrusted into their hands. 

Dex knew they were all pretty shitfaced, and he had to bank on the hope that that meant Nurse wouldn’t try to escape, so he and Chowder could catch their breath...the boy was looking kinda green. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, clicking the screen to see the time. 2:30 am. It was way later than he had thought. He groaned quietly, lolling his head to the side to peek at Chowder. 

“Can we go home?” He begged.

“But we’re having fun!” Chowder said, incredulous.

“No, Chow, we’re damaging our livers and our reputations. I wanna put this guy to sleep soon or else he’ll get even more rowdy.” 

Chowder giggled. “No, no! Nursey’s just having fun! C’mon, he’ll hate us if we take him home this early!” 

Nursey grunted in recognition of his name, but his head was in his hands, resting against the dark wood of the dining table. Dex rolled his eyes and got up out of his chair. Words were too much to handle, so he just stuck his hand out to Derek and helped him out the back door, stumbling their way towards his dorm. 

-

Dex was very grateful, in that moment, that Nursey lived on the first floor, meaning there were no stairs for him to half drag, half lift him up. Breathing hard, he and Chowder managed to get their friend to his doorway, and waited as Derek fumbled in his jeans pocket for his key. Dex was also grateful that his pretentious teammate had a single room, which meant no one was disturbed when they barreled through the door late at night and all three boys collapsed onto Nursey’s bed. 

Dex rubbed his hands over his face, trying to get some life back into himself, and shifted his weight to get more comfortable. Surprisingly, the three fit together on the bed well. A little entangled, sure, and definitely close, but not too uncomfortable, from Dex’s point of view. In fact, the warmth from the other two was so nice Dex found himself rolling closer to them, wrapping an arm under both Nursey and Chowder’s waist, and pressing his face into Derek’s dark curls. He felt Nurse hum contently, and Chowder’s hand stroke his leg from across Derek as he turned towards Dex, creating a Nursey sandwich. 

Before Dex really realized what he was doing, he began pressing little kisses into Derek’s hairline, relishing the hums he got in response, and the way the other boy’s forehead creased in amusement. He could tell Chowder was doing similar things to the back of Nursey’s neck, judging by the soft giggles he was emitting, muffled by contact of skin. 

Dex continued teasing for a few minutes, running a hand up and down Derek’s side, and releasing hot breath into his ear with barely audible moans, until Nursey caught Dex’s lips with his own, stopping Dex’s heart for a moment. 

Dex heard a squeak as he pulled away and saw Chowder’s bewildered face staring at him from across the bed.

“I’m so sorry-” He began, but Chowder cut him off.

“N-no! It’s...okay.” He breathed, “I-I liked it.”

Nursey took in a sharp breath, looking with wide eyes at his friends. Dex’s head was swimming still, but Chowder was looking at him in a way that made Dex want to kiss him senseless. So he did. Nursey’s hands gripped tight at his waist, Chowder’s wrapped around his neck, the three boys entwined together at every chance. 

The kissing turned feverish, hot breath mingling together in the small room, skin always making contact, not pulling apart until one was gasping for air. Dex had already decided Chowder’s soft moans were the prettiest thing he had ever heard, but with Derek there, it was like a whole symphony around him. Hums and groans and sighs swirled through his mind and took over every part of his being until all he could feel were lips on his skin, fingertips tracing patterns into his back, teeth catching on his neck. 

The night wasted away into morning, and eventually the boys tired themselves out, slipping into sleep, warmth tingling on every piece of exposed skin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so glad people actually enjoyed this, thank you all for reading it!!!! I'm really happy with how this turned out and I hope u are too!

Dex felt sunlight hitting his closed eyelids, rousing him awake. He was pressed against the wall, bones jamming into the cold surface, and his face was very, very close to...Derek's?! 

 

'Oh this is bad...' He thought, gazing at the still asleep boy. 

 

The night before was a bit hazy, but Dex certainly remembered how they got here, and the thought made his cheeks warm as it came flooding back. He saw Chowder on the other side of Nursey, his arm slung around Nursey's waist, face nuzzled into his neck, and they both looked so goddamn beautiful Dex sighed out a small breath and let his head sink back into the pillow.

 

He knew this was going to take some explaining, some rearranging and some planning, if the others even wanted it as badly as he did. His heart sped up with his thoughts, excited at the prospect of  what this could all really mean, but hesitant and downright scared about how others might react. He felt his hands begin to shake and how ragged his breaths had become with his rising panic, and rolled over onto his side, folding himself close to Derek, grabbing desperately at his back. 

 

Apparently, the other boys noticed Dex's movements, because he heard a soft groan from Chowder, and felt Nursey's hand run up his back,pulling him closer. Dex couldn't tell if they were actually awake, but the small comforts helped to put his mind at ease, though it was still turning a mile a minute. 

Dex lay there for a few more minutes, the room still, easy breaths coming from his companions. He tried to keep himself calm, not over analyze what had happened, but he was so entranced by what it had felt like when both of them touched him that at moments he felt like his heart would burst through his rib cage, and that the bleeding mess would tell the boys exactly how he felt about them, baring his soul. What had he done, getting himself involved with these stupid kids? How was he going to stop himself from fucking this all up? He knew, at this point, his loyalties were screwed, because he felt as though any type of backlash from his family or friends was worth it to keep Nursey and Chowder beside him, sleeping soundly, secure in the odd relationship they had created. 

 

Dex almost didn't realize the other two had awoken, he was so preoccupied. He only was alerted when the warmth of Derek's body was removed as he shifted, and a small voice whispered next to him. 

 

"You think he's gonna freak out?" Chowder said in a hushed tone. 

 

Dex could feel their eyes on him as he pretended to sleep. 

 

"I don't know..." Nursey said slowly, "Why aren't you freaked out?" 

 

Chowder paused for a moment, and Dex was sure he made some hand gesture and noncommittal shrug. "I'm from California, this kind of stuff isn't all that weird." He explained, sounding a little giddy.

 

"I can hear you." Dex said, and suddenly the room sank. 

 

Why was that the first thing he said? 

 

The room was stagnant, waiting for an explanation. But how was Dex supposed to tell them? He could never find the words, not for the way his palms tingled every time he saw the glistening happiness in their eyes, or for the fervent hope that had taken root deep in his heart and made his skin ache, that hope that maybe, maybe, they felt the same. He couldn't explain why he wanted to hold Chowder's hand, or why he always wanted to see Nursey laughing, even if it was at his expense sometimes. Dex had decided they work together the way only they can, a balance that was unbreakable by now, but his mind itched with the fear that he had messed it up. 

 

Instead of saying these things he didn't know how to list, he pushed them to the back of his mind, the fear and everything with it, leaving only the happiness. He bathed in the warm memory of Nursey's hands gripping his waist, and Chowder's fingers carding through his hair, and he sat up to face the day, and his boys, blood pounding in his ears and a headache threatening to knock him out.

 

He took a shaky breath as they looked at him, eyes wide, both now drawn back into themselves. Nervous, almost scared of what he might say.

 

"I need you." Dex choked out, kicking himself for how weak and raw his voice sounded. "I need you both." 

He looked at them shyly, his cheeks flushing red, and held his breath as the two looked at him, mouths fallen open, a light blush spreading across their cheeks now too. 

 

"I mean, we kinda can't go back now, right?" He said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "What do you think, Chow? Are you okay?" 

 

Chowder giggled, his face splitting into a grin, dark eyes full of love as he attempted to throw an arm around each of the others without knocking them all off.

"Yeah, I think it'll be fine as long as Nursey gets a bigger bed!" 

 

Nursey tipped his head back and laugh, the brightest noise Dex had ever heard, and said to them, "I might be able to make that happen." 

 

That's when Dex knows they're gonna be okay. He knows he doesn't deserve this much good, and that D-man is gonna be the death of him still, but he'll take it all if Derek keeps smiling at him like that. And maybe someday, Dex can tell his boys all those thoughts that are running through his mind as he looks at them, wild-haired and hungover, but still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

 

Dex knows they're gonna be okay.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i reposted this because of some format issues, so hopefully this version is better! thanks for reading, chapter 2 should be up soon. 
> 
> (please dont yell at me in the comments)


End file.
